Inspirational nugget of the day

...as "clean up is part of play" so is "catching crap from friends is part of having them and spending time together :)". . . you gotsta take the good, the bad and the ugly. . .and sometimes that's icky, but USUALLY it's lots of awesomeness :)

Timbra Wiist on the occasion of a strep outbreak, Dec 2011–Jan 2012

Sharing the inspiration - re-run edition

As the present recipient of much kind help (thank you) from many people, I wanted to honor the notion of small spontaneous service.

I will mention that recently when delayed at an airport, I offered a diaper to a dad who had a baby with him but no bag. He accepted, and everyone was happier. Small thing, indeed.

Frequent visitors to this space will likely recognize bearingblog who writes more thoughtfully than I upon this topic and many others.

Keep up the good works, friends, and tell me about your efforts in the comment box!

Making the oven feel loved

I'm baking again these days. Muffins have been really appealing to everyone, and I have been roasting asparagus frequently, too.

May I suggest that one of the positives of cold, wintry times is that you are glad to heat up the house with the oven?

Chances Taken With Positive Results

Two related items:
1) One day last week I got home from work early to grumpy kids. The verbal one requesting to play with a friend. I called one who graciously said "Come over!". Kids played. We drank wine, and I (barely) helped her assemble dinner. We had leftovers at home. Afterwards, there was a Facebook exchange about playdates during 'the witching hour' and why didn't we do that more often.

2) Yesterday a friend emailed to invite us over for the evening. I suggested cooperative dinner and delineated what I planned to make (sweet potato and corn chowder). Kids played. She and I cooked in parallel. We all ate together. No more effort for me (except the drive) than cooking for my own family, probably less in fact because the kids were entertained with an extra small person and her unfamiliar and therefore enticing toys.

The lessons here will not be new to at least some of you (bearingblog readers), but I still think that they are worth repeating.

1) Be open to possibility.
2) Take a chance then evaluate what worked and didn't (last night kids were too busy playing to eat very well and required more bedtime snack than usual).
3) Reach out. I'm feeling inadequate on this point at the moment because in our current living situation we lack the room and chairs to entertain well (i.e. without guests sitting on the floor).
4) It doesn't have to be perfect.
5) People you treat as family don't have to be related to you.
6) Make a plan and then execute it.

Let's work together for an enriching 2011!

Realization

These days I only blog in response to specific requests or the need to rant. Thank Scarlett for today's ire-free posts.

Bingeing on Purging

In preparation for our little house project and temporary move, I have been doing a lot of cleaning out of closets and drawers. Finding clothes in many sizes from multiple decades. Some of the size variation is due to pregnancy and postpartum changes. Some of these items have traveled with me on multiple moves.

This time, I am much more ready to let go of old clothes. Even if they fit. It feels good to let them go, and not because it is an excuse to acquire more.

World Breastfeeding Week 2010

The first week of August is World Breastfeeding Week.

Here's to a future world in which this observance is thought of as quaint and out of touch with reality. Why celebrate or mention something so perfectly normal?

There is an article today in the Salt Lake Tribune about our Breastfeeding Cafe.

Thoughts about breast pumps - part 3

This is a follow up to my earlier post about working and breastfeeding.

Part 1, When to get a pump
Part 2, Used Pumps

Troubleshooting

This is a common scenario presented at LLL meetings, "I have returned to work and am pumping for my baby and suddenly I am not getting as much as I did before. I guess I am losing my milk and will have to start using formula."

Maybe, but it is more likely that something else in your environment has changed.

Milk production is a demand and supply system. The more milk that you remove from your breasts, the more milk your breasts will produce. If you notice less production when you can actually see it, then the most likely cause is that less has been demanded from your breasts.

First, check the pump.

Is there a cut in one of the tubes? I accidentally ran over the tubing once with my office chair and cracked it, resulting in dramatically different suction. If there is a break in the tube, do not despair, depending on where the break is you can simply cut it and then replace the flange attachment at the new cut site. This can get you through until you can buy a new tube (so that it is long) or forever. I have been using one short tube for months.

Is there a tear in one of the white flexible membranes? You need to pull on them a bit to see if they are completely intact. Often there will be a tear that you can't see if you just look at it, but if you pull a bit you will see the hole. This ruins your suction. Keep a spare around. This is the 2 cent piece of plastic that makes the pump work after all.

Have you changed the way you operate the suction? Changes may help or hurt depending. Sometimes I find that I need to turn up the pressure a bit, but generally I use the lowest setting. Sometimes if the milk ejection reflex seems to be slow I will turn the pump off and then on again to get back to the initial fluttery sucking stage. This sometimes stimulates another round for me. Bottom line -- play with those knobs and see what happens. Your baby doesn't nurse the same way every time after all!

What day is it? Many moms find that they pump less volume each day that they work so that Friday they don't bring home the least milk. This makes sense because if you have been away from your baby all week working you aren't likely pumping as often as he is eating AND pumps aren't as good at milk extraction as babies. Your breasts are compensating by not producing what isn't being demanded. On the flip side, many moms report that they pumps lots on Mondays after nursing their babies all weekend. Production responds to demand.

Has your baby been nursing differently? For example, has he been sick and nursing less, or have you started more solids and perhaps cut back on nursing sessions when you are together? Production responds to demand.

Have you started a new medication or been ill yourself? Both of these can be associated with reduced milk supply.

What's to be done?
Nurse your baby more often.
Replace any broken parts on the pump for when you can't be with your baby.
Repeat.

As you remove more milk, your breasts will produce more milk. Elegantly simple system.

If none of these ideas seem to help or at any time, phone a La Leche League Leader. Helping women work through breastfeeding concerns is what they do.

Assume Positive Intent

Thanks to Charity for providing a title to my post-in-draft.

I recently attended a conference about human fertility. This topic is, of course, intimately related to breastfeeding. Another attendee had a baby with her, and as we talked about traveling and moving in the adult world with little people in tow another attendee, a female physician, joined the conversation. She shared a story from one of her patients who nursed in the front pew at church until the priest asked her not to because it was distracting to him. The mother was upset and humiliated and didn't know what to do. The physician suggested that she should respect his wishes not to see her nursing and move back. At this point the discussion turned to ways to cover up and nurse discreetly and how mean people could be to nursing mothers.

Until I brought it back to the idea of positive intent.

My experience is that if you give people the opportunity to treat you well, they will. If you are able to assume positive intent, you will feel better about the interaction.

Instead of thinking "that mean old man thinks that breasts are shameful and normal infant feeding should be hidden" think "wow - he is so moved by the beautiful interaction between mother and baby that he can't concentrate on the homily".

Who knows which version is really true, but really, who cares? I promise that version #2 will make you feel better about the power of mothering and yourself as a mother, whether or not you move back a few pews.

Thoughts about breast pumps - part 2

This is a follow up to my earlier post about working and breastfeeding.

Part 1, When to get a pump
Part 3, Troubleshooting

Used pumps, what's the big deal?

Many popular, consumer-grade pumps are single-user products and are regulated by the FDA as such. Medela Pump in Style is an example of a popular, single-user pump. Ameda Purely Yours is a closed-system pump which could, theoretically, be used safely by multiple mothers without the worry of infection as long as each mother had her own milk collection kit.

Although small, there is a chance of infection being passed from mother to mother with the pump as the vehicle. HIV and hepatitis are the ones that get tossed about, and that would be really rare, but the probability is not zero. I think a more likely pathogen transfer via a used pump would be thrush (yeast).

Now is when someone says, "But I know my friend/sister etc. doesn't have those diseases, and pumps are expensive. Why shouldn't I take hers?"

Here is a reason:
These devices have a 1 year warranty. Manufacturers expect that 1 year is about how long people might use them, and performance will begin to deteriorate over time. A mom relying on an old pump to express milk or maintain supply may not realize that it is not as effective as it should be and her supply may dwindle as a result, or she can't pump enough and winds up turning to artificial milk for the care provider to use.

The issue of pump life applies to the single-user devices and the closed-system devices.

* Particularly for moms considering buying used pumps from the internet or a yard sale *
This is a bad idea because: 1) possibility of infection, and 2) if you spend $100 and the thing conks out then you have no recourse or warranty and will likely wind up spending for a new pump or artificial milk anyway.

It's true, pumps are expensive, but I submit the following:
1) many moms who think that they need a pump don't really need it -- mom returning to work full time probably does need a good double electric pump, but mom wanting to express milk occasionally for a caregiver can do just fine with hand expression or a good manual pump (much cheaper)
2) medical insurance may cover the pump as durable medical equipment - mom should check with insurance company
3) mom returning to work should find out if there is a pumping room at her workplace - there may be, and it may be equipped with a hospital grade pump. It's true that most workplaces don't have such amenities, but the more people ask the more common they might become. There are resource guides available for workplaces about how to create such a room and how it can benefit the company.
4) moms who receive WIC and must return to work can often get a hospital grade pump to borrow from WIC

Do people buy used pumps? Sure, but it is a good idea to consider the risks and costs and make a smart decision. If I were planning to use a pump regularly for several months I would decide it is worth the investment to know that it is both safe and covered by warranty. If I only needed it for occasional use, then I might consider a manual pump (new or used) that is both cheaper and can be sterilized.

I would not sell a single-user pump at a yard sale or donate it to a charity. If it were a share-able (closed system) electric pump, I still wouldn't because of the pump life issue and possibility of compromising milk supply in an unsuspecting mom. I would sell a manual pump that could be boiled.

Thinking about eco-consciousness, it bums me out that these devices aren't built to last for generations, and I would love to know what I could reasonably do with the old Pump in Style in my closet (any my current PIS when I am done with it). I have been considering what sort of science experiments or plant watering system I could build with a small electric pump. ;-) A La Leche League Group or a childbirth/parenting/breastfeeding educator might use one donated pump for teaching purposes.

Finally, here is an article from the La Leche League Leader magazine, Leaven, on the topic.

As the economy has gotten worse the past year or so, I get this question A Lot - can you tell?

Thoughts about breast pumps - part 1

This is a follow up to my earlier post about working and breastfeeding.

Part 2, Used pumps
Part 3, Troubleshooting

I am often asked about breast pumps, when to buy, which to buy, buying a used pump, troubleshooting etc. So often that I have developed standard answers which I will share with you in segments.

When to get a pump - it's later than you think!

Pumps are on the list of 'must-haves' from baby-industrial-complex retailers. Why? Because they want you to buy stuff. Let me say this clearly, not every breastfeeding mother needs a pump. Pumps, particularly the double electric ones that get so much ad space, are expensive. Yes, it would be nice to have someone else purchase it for you, but wouldn't it be even nicer to have the money or equivalent in other stuff (perhaps diapers) if it turned out that the pump was going to sit in the closet? Therefore I submit the following suggestions for different situations.

Employed mother, planning to return to work full-time, outside the home, where baby is not welcome: You will need to express milk in order to maintain your supply and have something to feed your baby while you are away. Most mothers in your situation find that a double electric pump is the most efficient means of milk removal.

First, have a chat with your employer. As a part of healthcare reform, your employer is required to provide time and space for milk expression. Perhaps your employer will also be interested in creating a dedicated milk expression room equipped with a hospital-grade pump. Benefits of hospital-grade pumps include long lifespan, efficient to use, ability to be used by more than one mother (not at the same time!) by having individual collection kits.

If your employer isn't ready to shell out for a common pump, read your health insurance policy and/or call a representative to find out if you can get a pump as part of your durable medical equipment (DME) benefit. In this scenario, your healthcare provider writes a prescription, and you fill it through the insurance company's DME provider. You may not get to choose which brand you get, but I for one am willing to sacrifice some choices for a savings of a few hundred dollars. With my second baby I used this route and got a new double electric pump delivered to my home for a $25 co-pay.

If your insurance won't cooperate, then you will likely be purchasing a pump yourself. Wait until after your baby is born. Why? Well, it may turn out that you have a lot of other gifts to return to some major retailer and can use the credit generated towards the pump. There may be some change in your life circumstance such that you don't need to return to work or can work part-time instead of full-time. If there is some unexpected or unfortunate circumstance and your baby isn't able to breastfeed immediately you will need a hospital-grade pump in order to help establish your milk supply. The hospital will help you arrange this, and it might change the response from your insurance company.

Even if you have to pay full price for a pump, it is a better value than buying artificial milk!

Employed mother, planning to return to work part-time outside the home or in a setting where baby is welcome: You may not need to buy a double electric pump. For short separations a good quality manual pump or hand expression may suffice. Best scenario might be to keep your baby with you while you work, if that is possible. If you do want to acquire a double electric pump, see above suggestions.

No planned separation - mother is primary caregiver for baby: You don't need to spend a lot of money on a double electric pump! If you want to be able to express some milk for a temporary caregiver, invest in a good quality manual pump or learn to hand express.

I was pleased to see a very similar discussion included in the new, 8th edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding!

Perspective

Warning - high probability of tears. Read when you have time to be moved.

For Jessica, from Finding Your Voice

Here's wishing them many more exceptionally ordinary days.

Babywearing -- everybody's doing it (?)

Another article from the NYT has overcome my inability to blog. This time, it's about babywearing. And in the Fashion section. Who knew?

Many people ask my about babywearing, and I have helped a lot of moms and a few dads learn to wear their babies. The most frequent question is "Which carrier should I get?" To which I must reply, "Different tools for different jobs, my friend. In our house we have several."

Which do I like and why, here goes:

1. A ring sling, such as a Maya Wrap (get the lightly padded, it is much better than the original), is really useful for: brand new babies in a vertical position against your chest, bigger babies in a sitting position, breastfeeding in the sling with or without using the tail as a cover,and strapping babies into shopping carts or restaurant high chairs with broken buckles (all of them). This is not an exhaustive list. J carried Z in a ring sling until she was well over 2. It's great for the up-down stage, doesn't take up a lot of space in a bag, and is a good value for the money. Not good for carrying baby through the airport because of the metal rings. You will have to take baby out to go through security. A ring sling will always be in my stable of carriers.

2. A soft structured carrier, such as the Ergo. I really like this for putting babies old enough to have head control on either the front or the back. It has a pocket that zips, and I find it pretty comfortable. Breastfeeding is possible (with baby in front), and this is how I managed to deal with Z's tendency to switch nurse, especially when shopping. This is currently my choice for hikes up to about 3 miles. Great for travel and you do not need to remove baby to pass through security at the airport. The downside? J hates it. "I know how a backpack should fit, and that feels terrible." I recently ordered a Beco which is a similar carrier with a higher back because Q has a tendency to try and arch his way out of the Ergo. Will update once I know how I feel about it.*updated April 2012 - loved, loved, loved the Beco for Q.  J never liked it. Recently acquired a Boba brand soft structured carrier, and for the first time ever both J and I can agree on a carrier. SSC are still my go to devices for a nearly 3 year old*

3. One or more wraps. For newborns, stretchy wraps such as a Moby are great. Tie them on once and pop the baby in and out all day. Some people can successfully nurse in them (I never got the hang of it). Good value, and pretty easy to learn. For bigger babies, I like a woven wrap as well. We have tried several including Didymos (our first sling!), Ellaroo, Merry Carry (made by Bebina), and Gypsy Mama Bali Baby Breeze. Woven wraps have a little more of a learning curve, but they are very supportive and comfortable. We reach for the Ellaroo in the summer and the Didy in the winter. J never uses the Merry Carry because it is red.

4. We now have two mei-tais. One was made by my mom, and the other is commercial from the Maya Wrap people. It is called the Maya Tie. This category shares many nice features of the woven wraps and soft structured carriers. Wear on the front or the back, slightly easier to learn than a wrap, and less bulky to tote around. This is J's favorite for keeping Q calm during the day and the place where Q sleeps the most (on J's back).

5. I do have a pouch sling. It is a Lucky Baby brand, and it lives in the car as an emergency backup. Not comfortable enough for me to reach for it often, but doesn't take up much space, and I am glad to have the backup.

Do it yourself-ers can have many field days with baby carriers - some great patterns are available free from the amazing Jan at SleepingBaby.net.

Never pay full price!! There is an active used market for most baby carriers, and you can find them often on Ebay, Craigslist, and on the TheBabyWearer.com, a website dedicated to babywearing. Look in the Forums (you have to register), and for the For Sale or Trade (FSOT) thread.

Do we have a stroller? Yes. Does it see much use? No. Strollers have their place. I put Z in one once when I needed to try on pants. That's hard to do effectively when wearing a baby. Lots of other things are much easier though - grocery shopping, public transit, carrying bags through the airport, cooking dinner...you get the picture. J tends to put small kids in the stroller when they are sleeping and he needs to do yardwork, gardening, or work on the car. Be sure to park them in the shade!

Many people think that it is hard to learn to wear your baby, and it does take practice, but help is available from other parents, from websites like TheBabyWearer.com, and there are even lots of demo videos on YouTube. I just finally learned to wrap a baby on my back in my Didymos yesterday after watching a couple of YouTube videos!

You may notice that I didn't mention Bjorns...we do have one but don't use it. Not very comfortable, they are spendy, and you can't breastfeed in it. Fails my tests.

In summary, different strokes for different folks, and choose the right tool for the job.

Let the questions and comments begin.

Another Book Suggestion

I haven't been reading much, but I recently finished Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall. I am not a runner, but it made me want to run.

A Really Good Book

I can highly endorse The Lost City of Z by David Grann. The author was on The Colbert Report a few weeks ago, and I managed to be one of the first on the waitlist at the library. It's quick to read thanks to large font and a gripping tale. True story of one explorer's quest for a legendary city lost in the Amazon.

Still here

It's a busy time of year, and this pregnancy is hitting me hard.

I have been cooking, but only one thing interesting enough to post, and it was slightly an accident.

My friend over at bearingblog has been testing different versions of bread recipes and reporting on the results. That's what you get when a PhD engineer is also a homeschooling mom interested in frugality and sustainable living.

I hosted a pizza party for several pre-schoolers a couple of weeks ago on a Friday. In preparation, I made a batch of whole wheat pizza dough on Thursday night so that it could rise and develop slowly in the fridge for almost 24 hours. On Friday morning before work I had a momentary panic that I wouldn't have enough crust, so I made another batch with bread flour (whole wheat was gone). I mixed it in the bread machine using the usual bread machine recipe and then put it in the fridge to rest, develop, and rise. It turned out that the whole wheat crust was more than enough for the crew, so I had an entire extra crust. Motivation to eat it on Saturday was lacking, so it sat in the fridge until Sunday lunchtime.

Let me state this in no uncertain terms. Best Crust I Have Ever Made. By this point it had risen so much that I froze half and made about a 10 inch diameter pizza with the other half. When I stretched it out it stayed stretched. It baked crispy on the bottom and chewy in the middle. I was able to make it nice and thin. There was a slight sourdoughish flavor.

The problem? How often do I have enough space in the fridge to accommodate a mixing bowl full of pizza dough for more than 2 days? Not very. In winter this could be accomplished in my mudroom though even if we weren't low on food.

The moral of this rambly story? It really does help to let your dough have a nice long, cool rising time. If only I could plan that far ahead more often...

Open season(ing)!

Based on interest and requests, I have opened the blog to anybody. No longer will you need to be an invited reader. That said, I'm curious to know who is reading, so send an email or leave a comment so that I know who you are!

Mostly I will continue to post about food. It's one of my passions.

The following are my guiding philosophies regarding food: everything in moderation and real food for real people.

I recently read, and highly endorse, the book In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto.
It's written by Michael Pollan, the same person that brought us The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals. In In Defense of Food, he takes on the idea of reductionist nutritionism and questions the logic and validity of trying to separate the substance from the source and in the end comes up with his own three "rules" which I quote here from the front cover of the book, this is not a spoiler, EAT FOOD - NOT TOO MUCH - MOSTLY PLANTS. Gosh, that's simple! Michael Pollan is coming to SLC in March, tickets are still available.